Fried Dead
by Gerkyhen
Summary: A small shriveled thing puts everyone in danger. Disclaimer: No I don't own GF.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: A mad story (an a pretty crappy one) about a strange brain changing insect...as weird as it sounds  (I don't own Galactik football sadly ) Contains swearing, if you review don't be mean 

What's that smell? Yuki thought worriedly as her nostrils caught the scent of a burning... something. Yuki rushed into the kitchen to see D'jok cooking a fried egg.

"D'jok what are you doing!?" She yelped as he absentmindly threw a lit match onto the oily pan.

"I'm cooking a fried egg" he replied in a friendly tone. "Asswipe" he added under his breath.

"Fried dead more like" laughed Micro-Ice who was sitting on the countertop, legs dangling. Yuki moved closer to look at the 'fried dead', a shrivelled black thing in the corner of the pan (currently on fire).

"D'jok you've absolutely wrecked that pan" she scolded.

D'jok scowled. "I made it for Mei"

"Why would Mei enjoy a fried dead?" She spluttered.

"D'jok says it represents Mei's shrivelled heart" Micro-Ice explained.

"What?" Yuki turned from Micro-Ice to look at D'jok, a large tear plopped into the pan causing it to fizz. "Have you and Mei split up?"

"What? No..."

"He just doesn't like her is all" Micro-Ice shrugged as he leapt down off the countertop. Yuki was confused. "I'm confused" she admitted.

"You'll never understand" D'jok said through clenched teeth. "I think it's ready now don't you Micro-Ice?"

Micro-Ice peered over his best friend's shoulder.

"Yeah that looks pretty ready" he agreed.

"I doubt Mei will eat that" Yuki sighed at their silliness.

"Shut up, Poe face, we're not gonna make her eat it!" D'jok snarled.

"I don't understand!" Yuki wailed.

"Then just follow" declared Micro-Ice as he led the way out of the kitchen. D'jok followed holding the frying pan, Yuki considered a moment but her curiosity got the better of her and she rushed after her two team mates. Micro-Ice soon stopped outside of Mei's room. "C'mon" he whispered pushing the door's button, the door slid open and Micro-Ice and D'jok rushed in giggling loudly.

"Ooh quickly, quickly!" Micro-Ice screeched as D'jok placed the fried dead on Mei's slimy pillow

Okay first chapter's not that good i know 


	2. Chapter 2

Second part of Fried Dead, the intention was for them to get funnier with

Chapter but…you be the judge 

The next day

Mei rushed into the lounge. "Hello everybody, how **are **you all!?"

The rest of the team looked up shocked.

"Since when do you care about anybody else?" Micro-Ice questioned.

"Since I became the happiest person in the world, whee!" Mei twirled through the air and fell onto D'jok's lap.

"Gross!" D'jok complained.

"Hi there" Mei giggled.

Thran wrinkled his nose. "Jeez Mei did you even shower?"

"No!" exclaimed Mei delightedly.

D'jok groaned in disgust. Rocket tutted. "Did you even wash your hair sistah?" he demanded.

"Who **cares **about looks?!" Mei laughed.

"Umm you do?" answered Ahito.

"Not any more!" she declared.

D'jok finally snapped. "Shut up!" he yelled pushing her hard onto the floor. Mei's head hit the floor hard and as it did a black shrivelled thing scuttled out of her ear.

"Eew" chorused the Snowkid team.

"Gross!" Complained D'jok.

The shrivelled black thing scuttled up the back of Tia's chair.

"Mei are you alright?" questioned Yuki.

"Urgh, I think I fell and hit my head"

"Yes you did, we all saw it!" Shouted D'jok.

"Eew look at all my spots!" Tia suddenly declared from where she was sitting.

"Yeah they are pretty gross" agreed Mark.

"I didn't ask your opinion!" retaliated Tia.

"Woah Tia calm down" Rocket turned to look at her, he dropped the stick he'd been poking Mei with, she had such a look of hatred in her eyes.

"Eew do **not** even talk to me" she said.

"Woah Tia that's way off" Mark declared from his chair.

"Shut up Mark you fruit!" Tia raged.

"Yeah!" interjected Micro-Ice.

"And **you**!" Tia turned on Micro-Ice. He gulped. "What are you an Oompa Loompa?!"

"That's great make a crack about my size, **very** original" Micro-Ice rolled his eyes.

"**And** you have a long nose!" Tia smirked. Tears filled Micro-Ice's eyes and he clutched his nose. "No I don't" he said, sounding like he was trying to tell himself more than anyone else.

"RAA!" a chair smacked down on Tia's back.

"Good call Coach" Mei approved as the team looked up to see Aarch panting heavily over Tia's crumpled body.

"Wha? What has something happened?" Aarch blinked.

"Tia went mad…That **was** why you hit her wasn't it?" Micro-Ice said.

"Yes…yes of course" agreed Aarch hastily as he took a seat.

"Eew seriously that thing is groooooooss!" declared D'jok pointing at the shrivelled black thing which was now perched on the back of Thran's chair. All the Snowkid's turned to look as the thing jumped into Thran's ear, suddenly a confident smirk appeared on his face.

"Hey babeh wanna come back to my place?" he said turning to Mei.

"Eew no" Mei shuddered.

"How bout it Tia?" Thran arched an eyebrow. Tia lay motionless on the floor. "Ooh don't be harsh babeh" Thran smirked, the Snowkid's exchanged looks of confusion as Thran continued to try to chat up an unconsciousness Tia. After about an hour it began to annoy the Snowkids.

"Get him!" roared Rocket, the Snowkids rushed Thran, he fell to the floor. The black shrivelled thing scuttled quickly away.

"Thanks, ouch!"

Ahito continued kicking Thran. "Die! Die! Die…" he trailed off and sat down. Suddenly Rocket burst into tears.

"Rocket!? What's wrong?" Aarch rushed over to him.

"We're dooooomed! Why are we even trying to win the GF cup!? We all suck especially Mark! We're going nowhere fast!"

D'jok began crying too, soon all of the Snowkids were bawling their eyes out. "Rocket behave like a captain!" Thundered Aarch.

"Why would I want to be captain of the worst team in the wooorld!?" Rocket howled.

"Yes why!" D'jok agreed.

Suddenly all the Snowkids began chorusing "Yes why!?"

Aarch grabbed Tia's lifeless body over his head and hit Rocket as hard as he could with it.

"Oof, huh what happened?"

All of the Snowkids stopped crying and began whistling. Aarch threw Tia to the ground. "Whatever this is, it's becoming a nuisance!" He declared.

"Whee!" Screeched Ahito as he flew through the air, mid-flight Aarch grabbed him and brought him crashing back down to Earth. "See?" Aarch growled.

"What're you talkin' about coach, I never felt so well before" Ahito groaned from the ground.

"Yes but…that's just not you" Aarch replied.

"Ooh! Ooh Micro-Ice I was meaning to tell you!"

The Snowkids turned to see D'jok leaning across Micro-Ice, a dopey smile spread across his face.

"You played so **well** that last match! I mean **I **was all over the place, but you! You realise that I'm sharing a room with a future Galactik star?" D'jok declared addressing the whole room. A glass bottle flew at D'jok's head, D'jok fell backwards, Tia stood, arm outstretched. "Yesh!" she yelled.

D'jok looked around. "Uh?" he asked.

"I think the shrivelled thing went into your head" answered Micro-Ice.

"Uh?"

"You just lay on me" Micro-Ice replied.

"Sorry I'll get off" D'jok stood up hastily. "I'm straight" he assured everyone. Micro-Ice sighed longingly. D'jok looked over at Mark who was sitting on a beanbag. "Wow Mark for some strange reason I actually feel like…like I **like** you"

Mark looked up "really?" he asked surprised.

"Wow, me too!" exclaimed Micro-Ice in shock.

"I'll handle this!" Rocket declared pushing up his sleeves as he advanced on Mark, he raised a fist but suddenly it dropped to his side. "I…I can't hurt someone so unannoying" he admitted. Mark grinned but it didn't annoy anyone except…Yuki! With a snarl she punched Mark as hard as she could, he was lifted off the beanbag, teeth flying and landed with a sickening crack on the floor. The black shrivelled thing scuttled up Yuki's leg, up her body all the way to her ear. She screamed. "Yuki!" Micro-Ice and Aarch chorused, Micro-Ice shot Aarch a look but he couldn't see through his concern. "Micro-Ice! I'm fed up with **fun** I want to settle down! Will you marry me!?"

Micro-Ice settled back on the sofa and raised an eyebrow. "Figures, everyone wants me, but I ain't a one woman guy, kid" Yuki began to cry. "Those are the breaks kid" Micro-Ice shrugged. "Nobody's more attractive than me!" D'jok roared as he barrelled Yuki into the wall, smashing it. The bug fell out, oozing now. "Gross!" D'jok complained. The oozing shrivelled bug, headed straight for Micro-Ice. Micro-Ice screamed and jumped onto the couch. "Eek!" he shrieked. The bug leaped right into his ear. Suddenly he sat very still on the couch. D'jok ran over to him. "Micro-Ice? Micro-Ice! Micro-Icee!"

"D'jok, D'jok he said something while you were screaming" Mei patted him. D'jok shrugged her off and crouched down to be eye level with the sitting Micro-Ice. "Micro-Ice?" he whimpered, he bit his thumb.

"Hello" replied Micro-Ice.

"You alright honey?" D'jok worried.

"I am fine thank you, how about you?" Micro-Ice enquired solemnly.

Mark punched Micro-Ice square in the nose.

"Hey who turned out the lights?" Micro-Ice asked worriedly.

D'jok flew at Mark and smashed out of the window. Aarch leapt after them and a minute later heaved them both up, they watched as the shrivelled thing scuttled out of the room.

To be continued

:O what will happen, who will be affected!? Tune in next time…


	3. Chapter 3

3rd chapter of the Fried Dead series  enjoy

The Snowkid's team had been chasing the scuttling thing for hours when suddenly a red shoe stepped gently on the bug, stopping it. Sinedd picked it up. "Haha I got it!" he gloated. "Sinedd I wouldn't!" Warned D'jok

"Shut up D'jok this is mine now!"

"Sinedd no!" Screamed Tia dramatically from the back, everyone turned to look at her. "Sorry" she said ducking her head.

"Seriously Sinedd that thing messes with your head" Rocket warned.

"No it doesn't" argued Micro-Ice.

D'jok pulled at his best friend's arm. "What are you talking about? Yes it does!"

"Think about it D'jok if Sinedd sticks that in his ear we'll never have to deal with him again!"

D'jok's smile spread from ear to ear. "Hey Sinedd give that back!" he yelled.

"No" cackled Sinedd.

"See?" Micro-Ice whispered.

"Don't do it Sinedd" Rocket disagreed. Suddenly a flurry of talking spread, all telling Sinedd what to do. "Aargh shut up!" Sinedd screamed. He raised his hands to his ears and the scuttley thing took its chance, leaping into Sinedd's ear. Everybody went quiet. "Sinedd?" Mei stepped forward cautiously.

"Stay back Mei! He's like a wild animal!" D'jok declared.

"In more ways than one!" Winked Aarch.

"Woohoo wee!" Sinedd giggled; suddenly he was skipping around the Snowkids throwing confetti and flowers around them. "Where'd he get that from?" Whispered Yuki. "Probably keeps it up his bum!" D'jok sniggered and him and Micro-Ice snorted. Aarch sighed as he watched the confetti covered Sinedd go round in circles. "All right who wants to hit him?"

A chorus of "me, me, me!" began.

"C'mon Coach I'm his rival!"

"He calls me small!"

"He's annoying!"

"He pushed me over!"

"He kicked the ball right at me!"

"I plain just don't like him!"

Aarch sighed. "I'll do it" he advanced towards Sinedd who was currently tye dying his t-shirt. "Sinedd?"

"Yeeess?" Sinedd turned with a pleasant smile on his face. Aarch punched, Sinedd moved his head quickly the smile never leaving his face. Aarch fell to his knees as if he'd been stabbed and died. D'jok roared and ran at Sinedd, he went to punch him but Sinedd skipped out of the way. "Wah?" D'jok looked down to see roses around his neck. Micro-Ice went to kick him but Sinedd leapt up giggling. Mei swung at him then as he dodged kicked him as hard as she could in the shin. "Fuckin…loser!" Sinedd breathed falling to the floor. "Raah!" Screamed Thran running up to him and kicking him in the head. Sinedd's head went flying. "Bitchfuucckk!" he wailed.

"There it goes!" Screeched Tia, pointing at the shrivelled thing.

"Oh yeah!" Agreed D'jok and Micro-Ice who were kicking and looting Sinedd's body.

"C'mon!" Shouted Rocket.

"After we've looted Aarch!" D'jok shouted back.

Mei grabbed D'jok and…Sinedd grabbed Micro-Ice. "Sinedd's alive!" Sinedd shouted. Micro-Ice looked back at the headless body and shrugged.

 **Well that's it for now. Poor Sinedd got a lot of stick in this :S but he knows I love him really ******** watch out for the 4****th**** chapter ******

**Review if you like **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  The last chapter of my first epic parody of Galactik  enjoy

The shrivelled thing rounded a corner, the Snowkids (and Sinedd) rounded the corner a minute later to see it jumping in to Wamba player Woo-Wam-Boo's ear. "Crap" whimpered Thran.

"What?" Ahito asked from his position on Thran's back.

"Woo-Wam-Boo is the most peaceful person like ever yes?" Thran asked.

"Yeah, what of it?" Mark asked moodily (he was moody because he didn't have that big a part).

"And so far we've all been like...opposite right?"

"Yeah" D'jok said as he picked Mei's hand off his wrist. Thran raised his eyebrows.

"I don't see where you're going with this" admitted Micro-Ice looking down at Sinedd's hand wrapped around his wrist in horror. "Does that answer your question?" Thran asked nodding at Woo-Wam-Boo. "I didn't ask a question" retorted Micro-Ice but all the same he looked. "Crap!" he yelped as Woo-Wam-Boo began shooting Rockets with his Rocket launcher. "Mark go deal with it!" Rocket barked as a flying Rocket captain of the Snowkids came flying at them. Yuki pushed Mark forward, the flying Rocket went right through his stomach, dreadlocks spinning. Everyone cheered, then everyone screamed as they watched Woo-Wam-Boo's neck get snapped by Clamp. "Get him!" screamed D'jok, the Snowkids rushed Clamp, throwing him to the ground. "There's that fucking loser bug!" Sinedd shouted pointing at the bug with his free hand; the other was wrapped around Micro-Ice's wrist **firmly**. D'jok ran at it and forced it into Mei's mouth. "Eew D'jok no!" Mei spluttered.

"Yes! You must fulfil the prophecy!" D'jok wailed.

Mei gulped then swallowed.

"Eew"

"Tramp"

Mei sighed then she went blue, she dropped down. "She's choking!" Yelped Yuki.

"D'jok...elp!" Mei coughed. Thran jumped on top of her and began thumping her chest.

"Thanks Thran I thought..."

Thran began...humping. "Gross" complained D'jok.

"Bitchfuck" commented Sinedd. "C'mon Micro-Ice let's go!"

Micro-Ice stared, eyes wide. "Where?"

Sinedd growled and punched him. "Whiner, whiney baby!"

The end, so it all turned out happy! Apart from Marks death and Thran's unfortunate...urge and Micro-Ice being punched, oh wait all of those things are good, apart from Micro-Ice being punched of course :O


End file.
